I'm dying

I'm sitting here in my white room
I'd love to go on, but I'm too tired
I've been waiting alone for so long
but now I'm not able to go on
I'm gonna leave the fucking world
have I ever been your little Girl?

Something's calling me silently
It's the razorblade whispering to me
I take it and I'm waiting for the end
I cut my wrists, it's a relieving event
The blood is running down my hand
I'm entering a new land

Waiting for the absolution which was never given
And now I'll be for ever unforgiven
I'm breathing horny
And I'm crying holy
My control is lost
for the last time I kiss the cross

I am dying
I'm dying in your arms
You close my eyes
and I'm leaving to paradise
you scream I shouldn't go
I hear your excited foe

"Why did you never say before
That I'm a fucking teenage whore?"
Now you throw words around like
Love, friends and I should have pride
How much awful pain did I have to stand?
Now I'll make it to the final end

You kiss my salty tears
I lose all of my fears
I say "I don't want to leave you now!"
And desperately you ask "how?"

You open my eyes again
And the rain falls inside
They look at you like Romeo's Juliet
You lay down beside me and started crying
And you think of our first meeting

I try to whisper "My Punk Goodbye"
And you're shouting "Say, you lie!"
"This is the end, beautiful friend!" I sang
Death began
Everything is quiet and nice
But you were a very expensive price

For 24 hours you held me tight
And then you kissed me while saying "Good night!"
You fish a letter out of my Jeans
And you're starting to read
The frame - burnt with a cigarette
Just like we talked about in the chat

Dear Darling,
Do you hear the white doves sing?
I heard their voices telling me to die
I smoked my Joint for getting high
I'm not afraid of meeting the devil
'Cause I met you and you were 'debil'
I told you so much about my life
But all you were thinking of was your wife
All the people I really loved, left me soon
Now I'm gonna visit them on the moon
One day you would have left me too
And I didn't want to wait till it becomes true
so, here I am, ready to die
I'm flying up high
let me go, I deserve it
Never heard of the girl and the boy,
which wanted to save the world
They had the Power, just like we do
We could move the world, if we had the time to
They risked their life, yes, like Jesus
but their mission was senseless
You know what I'm trying to say
you know what I've been through
I'm still standing
please forgive me losing my strength